


if tenderness is what you need

by orphan_account



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: F/F, at a foxes reunion years after the end of the series, this is basically renee and allison figuring out their feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 05:20:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9108220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “I’ve missed you,” she says before she’s registered she’s saying it out loud, but it’s true and there’s no reason not to say it, except for the vulnerability it makes her feel. Even though she’s learnt that it can be a good thing, she can’t help but feel surprised every time she comes out of being vulnerable without another scar.Allison freezes, then puts the shirt she’s holding back down and turns to look at Renee. Her expression, usually easy to read, is too complicated for Renee to figure out.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IceBreeze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceBreeze/gifts).



“Renee!”

Dan hurtles towards her through the hotel lobby and then stops, a grin on her face. Renee can’t help but smile back. She steps forward and wraps Dan in a hug, maybe squeezing a little too tightly, but Dan doesn’t say anything, just squeezes right back.

After a while, Dan says, “It’s been too long.”

They saw each other every day once. Now, they see each other a couple of times a year at most. Renee’s smile takes on a bittersweet edge. It’s not bad, but different, and sometimes she misses the way it used to be, something a young her would have deemed impossible for her to ever do.

If nothing ever changed, though, how would you even know you’re alive? How could you not start feeling stuck eventually? Renee likes knowing, _needs_ to know that things can change, that she can change.

They talk for a while. Dan says it’s going well with Matt, and then, in a quiet voice, says they’ve started talking about children. Renee isn’t surprised. At this point, she doesn’t know if Dan and Matt could ever fall out of love with each other even if they wanted to.

“Dan!” Matt calls out from over at the counter where he’s talking to a receptionist. “Could you come over for a second? I need your help.”

Dan rolls her eyes, but the affection on her face exposes her annoyance for the lie it is.

“Be right back,” she tells Renee before walking over to join Matt and help him with checking them all in. Or rather take over, because she pushes Matt away towards Neil and tells him to let her take care of it.

Renee looks around the lobby, which is uncharacteristically packed with people, among them most of the Foxes. When she spots Andrew, she smiles and walks over to him.

“Hello, Andrew.”

“Renee,” Andrew says.

“How are things?” she asks him.

Andrew just lifts an eyebrow and looks at her in silence, then moves his gaze over to where Neil is talking to Matt. Renee’s smile widens. It’s been a while, and her Andrew-reading skills may have gotten rusty, but that message came across loud and clear.

“I’m glad to hear that. You two should come visit someday.”

After a beat, Andrew nods. When Renee catches sight of Aaron and Nicky making their way over, she decides to leave them to their reunion and excuses herself.

She’s checking her phone for messages when someone clears their throat in front of her, making her look up. She didn’t notice someone come up to her, and while an old, dust-covered but always present part of her feels immensely uncomfortable with that, a larger part is glad. She doesn’t need to be on edge all the time anymore, hasn’t in a long, long time now, and that’s a good thing.

She’s a bit surprised to see Neil standing in front of her.

“Hey, Renee,” he says.

Renee smiles. “Neil. Good to see you again.”

He actually smiles back, and in that moment, Renee knows for certain that she’s as much a part of his family as he is of hers. He’s changed so much since she first met him, and Renee would probably be more surprised by that if she weren’t also so fundamentally different form her younger self. Feeling safe is actually something she’s grown familiar with, even used to, for one.

“Yeah,” Neil says, nodding.

“How are your cats?” Renee asks, because asking Andrew would have gotten her nowhere.

Neil smirks, looking over at Andrew. “They’re good. Andrew still pretends not to care about them, but I’m pretty sure he takes better care of them than I do.” He turns his gaze back on Renee, and after a brief hesitation he says, “You should come see them sometime.”

“I will,” Renee says, and feels warmth bloom in her chest.

The Foxes are family. It’s a bond that can’t be broken by not seeing each other for a while; instead, it’s one that allows them to pick up right where they left off when they meet again. They are so important to her that she’d do almost anything for them. And that that doesn’t scare her anymore, that’s something she considers progress.

“Look at all of you, just standing around, talking quietly,” a familiar voice rings out. “When did we get so boring?”

Allison strides up to them, pulling her pink suitcase along behind her. She stops, pushes her sunglasses up, and looks Neil up and down critically before finally nodding in approval.

“That Andrew knows how to pick an outfit is truly his most redeeming quality.”

Then she pulls Neil into a hug with a grin, kissing his cheek and leaving a pink lipstick mark there. After letting him go, she pushes him towards Dan and Matt.

“Go show that off,” she says. “We’ll catch up later.”

When she looks over at Renee, their eyes meet. Renee’s heart stops only to start beating more frantically again afterwards, and inwardly, she sighs. She thought she was over that.

“Renee,” Allison says, her voice infinitely softer, her smile more private. They hug, and Renee has to force herself to let go eventually.

“Allison, it’s been so long. You look great as always.”

Allison grins and ruffles Renee’s hair. “So do you.” Then she leaves to greet the others.

Renee looks after her, wondering how long a crush can last. They go away, right? That’s what everyone always says. Of course she loves Allison, but she’s not _in_ love with her, so why isn’t time making these feelings go away?

 

* * *

 

“Turns out there’s some conference in town,” Dan says, “and due to a system malfunction they miscalculated the number of rooms they have vacant.”

The Foxes have convened on some couches in the lobby to hand out the room keys and discuss their plans for the weekend here.

“Okay,” Nicky says. “So what does that mean for us?”

Dan waves her hand dismissively. “Don’t worry, our rooms are mostly covered, except that they’re one room short. Someone’s going to have to share.”

“We’ll do it,” Allison says immediately, placing a hand on Renee’s knee. She looks at her. “Right?”

Renee smiles, nodding. “Of course.”

“Great, thanks. I was going to make Kevin share his room because he still owes all of us from that one drunk incident, but this works too.”

“Hey,” Kevin says, glaring at her. “I _apologised_ for that.”

Dan sounds unimpressed when she replies, “Yes, I’m surprised hell still hasn’t frozen over because you managed to get over your giant ego.”

Kevin opens his mouth to reply – he can never tell when Dan is teasing, – but Allison cuts him off with, “So that’s settled then.”

“Well, not quite,” Dan continues. “I know you two are okay with sharing a room, but you’re going to have to share a bed too. That’s the only room they had left.”

Allison turns towards Renee. “Is that okay with you?”

Hesitating, Renee meets her eyes. If Renee says no, she’s sure Allison will look for some other hotel to stay in, no matter how much of an inconvenience that would be.

She’s missed her. She’s missed Allison so much, she didn’t even know until it hits her full-force in this moment. Her heart feels like it’s expanding with all the warmth filling it.

“Yes, it’s fine with me,” she manages to say. “What about you?”

Allison smiles, a warm and real smile that lights up the whole room.

“Sure, I’m okay with it too.”

“ _Now_ that’s settled,” Dan says, sounding pleased. “So, on to our plans for the weekend.”

 

* * *

 

“I can’t believe we’re the only single ones here,” Allison grumbles later in their room, rifling through her suitcase. “Look at us! We’re too attractive for this. Hell, Aaron’s the one who had the worst attitude out of all of us back then, and that’s saying something, and he’s fucking _married_.”

With increasing impatience, Allison starts tossing things out of her suitcase, muttering all the while, “Where the fuck are you?”

Renee watches her and smiles.

“I’ve missed you,” she says before she’s registered she’s saying it out loud, but it’s true and there’s no reason not to say it, except for the vulnerability it makes her feel. Even though she’s learnt that it can be a good thing, she can’t help but feel surprised every time she comes out of being vulnerable without another scar.

Allison freezes, then puts the shirt she’s holding back down and turns to look at Renee. Her expression, usually easy to read, is too complicated for Renee to figure out.

Just as Allison’s opening her mouth to reply, there’s a knock on the door. Allison glares at it for interrupting her, then sighs and walks over to open it. Dan is on the other side, and she invites herself in and lets herself drop onto their bed.

“It’s been a while,” she says. “The three of us, I mean.”

Allison rolls her eyes. “What, did you get on the nostalgia train today? It’s time to get off and have some fun instead, Wilds.”

“Actually,” Dan says, looking up at her with a grin, “I think it’s time for you to get dressed, Reynolds. We’re meeting the others in ten minutes.”

“I fucking would if I could find the fucking dress I want to fucking wear. I know I packed it…” Allison goes back to rummaging through her suitcase, cursing all the while.

Again Renee can’t help herself, and decides she doesn't want to. The three of them have been through so much together, and if she trusts anyone, she trusts them. She says, “I love you two.”

Immediately, Dan jumps up and wraps her in another hug with one arm, the other gesturing for Allison to come join them. “We love you too.”

Allison approaches them carefully. “Okay, I’ll join the hug, but you have to watch out that my face is kept out of it. I’m not reapplying this masterpiece.”

“We know,” Dan and Renee say at the same time, and then all three of them burst out laughing.

 

* * *

 

It’s late when they get back to their room. That was probably the longest dinner of Renee’s life. The Foxes didn’t want to leave – though Andrew and Neil did leave before anyone else, Andrew first, then Neil a bit later, but everyone’s used to that – and kept ordering new things so that they wouldn’t be glared at too much for occupying the table for so long.

When Renee exits the bathroom after brushing her teeth, Allison is wearing a sleeveless purple satin night dress that makes Renee feel cold just looking at her. Her own pyjamas are long-sleeved and soft and comfortable and have teddy bears printed on them. They’re the opposite of everything her life used to be and she loves them for it.

“Aren’t you going to get cold?” she asks Allison and then climbs onto the bed, not tucking herself in just yet, though her feet are starting to tingle from the cold.

Allison raises an eyebrow at Renee’s pyjamas. “And you, that’s–” She pauses, then shakes her head. “No, I can’t say it, you look adorable.”

With a sigh, Allison joins Renee on the bed. “I’d melt in anything else. On my own, I always sleep with the window open, too, even in winter.”

Renee stares at her. She feels like she should know these things after living with Allison for years at Palmetto, but they didn’t ever talk about it.

Of course, come to think of it, she’s never seen Allison wear pyjamas in winter, always just short-sleeved night dresses, but she always figured that her blanket must be really warm. And in the cabin way back… She doesn’t even remember, there was too much going on back then, with Jean and everything.

“So you don’t own a single pair of pyjamas?”

“Nope.”

Allison stretches her long legs out on the bed, her brown skin completely lacking the goose bumps Renee can feel on her own despite her warm pyjamas.

Deciding she’s waited long enough, Renee tries to wiggle herself under the blanket, which turns out to be quite a challenge with the way it’s tucked underneath the mattress incredibly tightly and also with Allison lying on it. Allison just looks at her with raised eyebrows while Renee fights with the blanket, not moving to get up or help her.

When Renee’s finally lying under the covers, she lets out a huff. Looking over at Allison with a hint of reproach, she’s surprised to find a slight pout on her face.

“I was hoping you were going to swear.”

Renee blinks. “You want me to swear?”

“Yeah,” Allison says, her cheek leaning on her palm. “It’s fun, you know.”

“I don’t like doing it.” Renee hesitates, then shrugs. “It reminds me of before.”

There’s silence for a while. Then, “You never said anything.”

Renee shifts her head on the pillow to be able to look at Allison better. “I don’t mind it. I just don’t like doing it myself. I used to, and now I don’t want to anymore. It’s a small thing that probably has no effect whatsoever, but it reminds me that I’ve changed, that I can still change.”

Allison looks at her for some time, unblinking, then she huffs. “You’re so deep sometimes.”

“I am, right?” Renee feels her smile widening. In response, Allison grabs her pillow and throws it at Renee.

“Shut up.”

Neither of them says anything for a while. Eventually, Renee fidgets.

“Allison, I know you said you don’t get cold, but could you maybe get under the blanket anyway? Just looking at you is making me shiver.”

Allison scoffs. “Weak,” she says, but gets up to turn the lights off and then crawls under the blanket anyway.

They shuffle around a bit, until they’re both sitting propped up against the headboard in the dark. How much a simple lightbulb being off or on can change the entire atmosphere in a room is something Renee will never fully understand. Every tiny little sound suddenly seems much louder.

“I miss it sometimes,” Allison finally says. “Living with you and Dan. Being together every day. I do love you two, you know? And sometimes I think… what if those days were the best of my life? What if I never feel that comfortable again, so _at home_ somewhere?” She lets out a laugh. “Ah, whatever. Look at me, being all dramatic.”

“No, I know what you mean,” Renee replies softly. “But I’m also glad it ended before it all turned sour. Not that I know that it would have, but I’m glad it didn’t, is what I’m saying, I guess. Can anything that lasts forever really mean that much in the end?”

“There you go again, being all deep and shit. I have no clue, because I haven’t ever really thought about it. It can kind of ruin everything, overthinking stuff.”

Renee hums in agreement. It isn’t something everyone can stop themselves from doing, though.

After that, they’re quiet for so long that Renee’s breathing and thoughts start to slow, her eyes already half closed, and opening them again after blinking gets harder every time.

“Renee,” Allison says softly, her voice filling the quiet with sound. Renee blinks. She didn’t know there could be anything other than silence anymore. “Can I ask you something?”

“Mhm,” she hums, stifling a yawn.

“Do you…” Allison sounds so hesitant that it surprises Renee. ‘Hesitant’ is not a word she would associate with Allison Reynolds. “Do you think I ever loved Seth?”

Renee instantly feels more awake. “What?”

“Fuck, I… It’s been so long. I still miss him sometimes, you know? But I’m not sure anymore if I just thought what I felt for him was love because it was so intense, or if it actually was. I can’t remember how I used to feel, I only know how I feel looking back now, and…” She breaks off, sounding frustrated.

“I’ve been going out with people,” Allison continues, “but I don’t feel anything. Sometimes I wonder if Seth was… it. We were fucked up, I know that, and it probably wouldn’t have lasted. He was an ass, I know that too. I hated some parts of him so much, and he was _so_ frustrating at times. When we were ‘off,’ there was always a bit when I thought we’d never be ‘on’ again, that I’d had enough. But I also never really thought we’d ever stop.” By the end, Allison’s voice is breaking.

“Allison…” Renee starts, but she can see Allison shake her head even in the dark.

“Intense doesn’t equal good, I know that. But it’s better than nothing, isn’t it? It’s better than nothing.”

For a while, nothing but Allison’s heavy breathing is audible, until Renee gathers her thoughts and says, “You did love him.” She hears Allison shift.

“What?”

“You loved Seth, in a way, though you didn’t always like him. And maybe you loved the thought of who he could be more than who he was. I think love and passion got so mixed up that you didn’t know what was what anymore. And I think you loved feeling like you could save him.”

Allison draws in a sharp breath, then lets it out again shakily.

“I’ve never thought of it that way, but… you’re right. I loved that I thought I could save him.” She lets out a short laugh. “When does shit like this start leaving you alone? It’s been years, my caring about this is well past its expiry date.”

Renee shrugs. “You’re asking the wrong person.”

“Renee…” Allison starts, then pauses before asking, “Have you ever been in love?”

“I… don’t think so.” Has she? Is she? No, that’s not what this is, it can’t be and it won’t be. Allison is one of her best friends. She’s closer to her than almost anyone else in the world. Of course she’d love her. Like Dan. Only it has never felt quite similar.

“Oh,” Allison says, and Renee can’t figure out her tone of voice. After a moment, she adds, “Do you think you ever could be?”

Renee looks over at her, and even though she can’t really see her, it feels like their eyes meet.

“Yes.”

It’s quiet for some time, until finally Allison clears her throat.

“Okay, well, we should probably try to sleep now. Beauty sleep and all that.”

Renee smiles. “Sleep well, Allison.”

 

* * *

 

All throughout the next day, Renee feels Allison’s eyes on her, but whenever she looks over at her, Allison isn’t even remotely looking her way. After the umpteenth time, she frowns and figures she must be imagining it.

Deciding she’s not going to think about it or anything related to it, she focuses on the Foxes, her family, a family Allison is a part but not the centre of, and enjoys every second she gets to spend with them. Or maybe every third, at least.

Seeing them all again makes her happy in a way only they can accomplish. She feels whole, and it’s not as if she doesn’t when she isn’t with the Foxes, but feeling complete as a part of a collective whole just feels different. She belongs, because she wants to, and there are people who want her to belong, too. There’s not a lot that feels better to Renee.

 

* * *

 

“We’re leaving tomorrow,” Renee says quietly in her and Allison’s room that night while they’re getting ready for bed.

Allison pauses in removing her make-up, holding the pad she’s using for it away from her face.

“Are you sad about it?”

“A little. Of course we can’t see each other as much as we used to, but I miss it sometimes anyway, that’s all. Aren’t you?”

“Sad?” Allison hums. “No. That we all still meet up at all is enough for me, to be honest. Besides, if we saw each other all the time, we’d get sick of each other after a while. I prefer us having a great time when we meet but not seeing each other that often. I prefer all of us still _wanting_ to meet.”

Everything inside of Renee constricts at that. It almost feels as if she was stabbed, something she’s intimately familiar with, and she doesn’t quite understand her reaction herself.

The thought that Allison could grow tired of her, bored of her, hurts, but also feeds into something some part of her had already seen as truth.

“Renee?” Allison’s voice reaches her slowly, slightly muffled as though Renee was underwater. She blinks and shakes her head.

“Sorry, I spaced out.”

A worried frown settles on Allison’s face and she reaches out to place a hand on Renee’s forehead.

“Your temperature seems fine. Are you feeling faint? Maybe you could use some fresh air.”

She walks over to the window to open it, but Renee stops her with, “I’m fine, Allison.”

Raising an eyebrow, Allison crosses her arms in front of her chest. “I thought I was talking to Renee, not Neil.”

Renee’s shoulders slump a bit, and she decides she might as well be honest. “I just... When you said we’d grow tired of each other, the thought that you’d grow tired of me...” Renee trails off, unsure about how to put her thoughts into words.

“No,” Allison says quickly, taking a step forward. “Not you, Renee. Never you.”

Renee shrugs. “You can’t know that. Anything with ‘never’ or ‘ever’ is automatically a lie.”

Groaning, Allison throws the pad she’s still holding into a bin. “Renee, I didn’t even mean that. You guys are my family, you know that. Even if you annoy me, I’ll still love you and want you in my life. Because that lasts and annoyance doesn’t. Okay?”

Renee blinks at her, at a loss for words. She feels much the same about the Foxes, but she didn’t know that Allison did as well.

“Renee,” Allison says. “I’m going to say something, and if it makes you uncomfortable in any way, we can either go on like it never happened or I can get out of here.”

Renee opens her mouth, but Allison holds up a hand. “No, please let me say this now, when I feel like I can actually go through with it. It’s been years now, you know?” She clears her throat. “Anyway. The thing is.”

Allison takes a deep breath and continues with, “The thing is, I think I’m pretty in love with you. As in, I would like to be with you, in a dating kind of way. Fuck, you’re– You’re so fucking important to me, Renee, and I could never say it because I can’t handle the thought of fucking us up in any way, but this is something I’m feeling, something I have been feeling, and it’s started to feel dishonest not to tell you, because it’s not going away, it’s just getting stronger, and–”

Now it’s Renee’s turn to hold up a hand. “Allison,” she says. “I feel the same.”

Allison stares at her. “What?”

Looking away, Renee runs a hand through her hair. Her cheeks feel warmer than they have in a long time, and her heart feels like it’s going to take off and leave her body behind at any second.

“Back at Palmetto, I developed what I thought of back then as a fleeting crush on you. I knew it wasn’t ever going to go anywhere, so I thought if I left it alone long enough, it’d just go away. Turns out… no.”

“Wait, hold on. Back at Palmetto?” Allison lets out a short laugh. “You are fucking impossible to read, Renee Walker. I’m usually good at picking up on this stuff, but I had no clue. If I’d known, I would have–” She breaks off, shaking her head.

“It wasn’t something I wanted you to notice, Allison,” Renee says softly. “I thought it would just make you uncomfortable, and that’s the last thing I ever wanted.”

With a groan, Allison lets herself plop down on the bed. Then she immediately shoots up again. “Wait,” she says. “That means that you like me too. You want to be with me too.”

At that, it finally sinks in for Renee too, that this is Allison Reynolds, amazing, year-long source of what she thought were unrequited feelings, and that the two of them are seemingly… _in love_ with each other. Unable to help it, Renee smiles.

“Yes,” she says. “I do.”

Allison’s eyes light up, which does something interesting but altogether distracting to Renee’s insides. A grin spreads on Allison’s face.

“That settles it, then. We’re dating.”

Renee nods, still smiling. “That seems to be the case.”

They stand there for a while, just looking and smiling at each other, and Renee isn’t really sure what to do with the feelings all of this is causing inside of her. They’re incredibly good and so strong that they need some sort of outlet, but Renee is still pretty new to all this.

She waits for Allison, who isn’t, to do something, to show her what the next step should be, but as she watches Allison watch her, she realises that Allison, who tends to be the one to take the initiative since she isn’t the most patient of people, is waiting for her to take the first step to see what she’s comfortable with.

In that moment, she loves Allison so much she thinks she could choke on it.

Carefully, she takes a step forward, then another, then another. Allison is holding her breath when Renee reaches her, and only lets it out when Renee gently cups her cheeks in her hands.

Renee allows her gaze to roam over Allison’s face until finally it lands on her lips and doesn’t move away again. She swallows.

She’s kissed before. It’s something she did in her past, after she killed him, though she was never really sober, and then it was something she felt the need to rediscover after she finally found a home in Stephanie, because she wanted to and because it could be good, it could make her feel in control of her life and her choices. But it’s never been easy for her. It’s always carried weight.

With Allison, though, she feels a way she never has before, as cliché as it sounds, and while that makes her uncertain and apprehensive about what it could do to her, she also trusts Allison as much as she’ll ever be able to trust someone. With her, it isn’t a question of _if_ but of _when_ , and she decides she wants it to be now.

“Renee,” Allison says, a note to her voice Renee has never heard before. “Are you going to fucking kiss me, or–”

And so she does. Softer than she’s ever thought herself capable of, she leans up and places her lips on Allison’s. Immediately, the sensation spreads through her whole body, and she has to pull back slightly to try to get herself back under control.

Allison is looking at her, her eyes half-lidded, her mouth slightly open, still leaving everything up to Renee, and Renee just has to kiss her again. She’s still careful, and Allison is still only responding in the tiniest possible ways, as if she’s afraid she’ll scare Renee away otherwise.

With every second, Renee pushes herself closer and increases the pressure of her lips on Allison’s, until finally her arms end up crossed behind Allison’s neck and Allison’s hands are gently resting on her waist.

Renee pulls back slightly, trying to regulate her breathing. “It’s okay, Allison. You don’t have to hold yourself back anymore.”

“Are–” Allison has to stop to clear her throat. “Are you sure?”

Smiling, Renee leans back in and says, up against Allison’s mouth, “Yes.”

And then Allison opens her mouth into the kiss and all of Renee is focused on feeling, so she doesn’t even get the chance to doubt the reality of the moment.

It’s impossible to tell how long they kiss. For a while, it feels infinite, as if it’s all Renee’s ever done and all she’ll ever do.

When they finally break apart for more than a couple of seconds, both breathing heavily and still searching for each other’s lips anyway, Renee pulls Allison close and buries her face in the crook of her neck.

“Allison,” she says, her voice muffled.

“Renee,” Allison replies, and her voice is full of so much love and tenderness that Renee loses her breath all over again and has to pull Allison even closer.

That things like this can happen, that Renee gets to feel like this, happy and unbelievably close to someone and so full of love that she feels like she could burst, that’s something she considers a blessing and a miracle all in one.

Allison’s hand is running over the back of Renee’s head in a repetitive motion, and when she realises that she also realises that tears are streaming down her face, quietly, always quietly.

Her feelings have been purposely muted for so long, she didn’t even notice how scared she was of intensity, how scared she was to truly open up and let herself out. But these emotions right now are all her and they are more intense than anything she’s felt in years and they are good. They are good.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Allison and Renee can’t stop smiling at each other, and they don’t even try to do anything about it.

When they sit down at the Foxes’ breakfast table next to each other, no one bats an eyelid. They look at each other, an unspoken question in both of their eyes, and then they nod.

“Oh, by the way, no one here is single anymore,” Allison says while grabbing a slice of bread. She points her butter knife at all of them in turn. “I know you all bet on this, don’t even try denying it.”

Renee grabs Allison’s unoccupied hand, even though that’ll make spreading butter on her slice more complicated, and Allison lets her with a wink.

The Foxes, her family, _their_ family, are loud in the background, asking questions and offering congratulations and celebrating being together. But Allison is smiling at her and she’s smiling at Allison and for a moment, that’s all there is to the world.

**Author's Note:**

> if you felt any kind of way about this and feel up to it, it would be very lovely of you to leave a comment!
> 
> title is from tracy chapman's "baby can i hold you" (as always i really recommend her music)
> 
> idk what i think about this?? i started it ages ago and wasn't really going to finish it but then icebreeze's amazingly kind words about my writing kind of motivated me to come back to it, thank you so much!! you're the sweetest person. idk if anyone's in character i never know tbh i'm rly sorry if i fucked anything up
> 
> this can be seen as part 2 of the pyjamas agenda (in my mind, the continuation of the title is "...then wear pyjamas" they're just so comfortable!! when will i stop......). i can't believe dan and thea aren't dating in this tbh i just kind of wanted to stick to canon for this. there's no fantasy either?? what. i'm working on a renee/allison witch au from allison's pov but that's already pretty long and so much still has to happen so i hope i'll actually finish it
> 
> thank you so much for reading this and lots of love to you!


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